It took 35 years before I was ready to begin grappling with my gender identity, and nearly another four to truly accept I was transgender. There's no single path to follow on a journey like this, but I hope sharing my story and struggles might be helpful for others.
I know there are some of you who might not understand what it means to be trans, or might object to my embracing this aspect of myself. I ask you to take the time to at least read my story and my thoughts on what this means for my faith to appreciate where I'm coming from. Thank you for your time!
No worries! It has been an educational journey for me too :). If this is a new topic for you, then I recommend starting here:
Some common words you'll encounter when learning about the trans experience (select a term to expand it and see the definition).
While I added some of my own thoughts to these definitions to expand upon them with my experiences, I used material from the following sources for these terms:
One’s internal, deeply held sense of being male or female, neither of these, both, etc. In some circles, gender identity is falling out of favour, as one does not simply identify as a gender, but is that gender.
An umbrella term used to describe someone whose gender is different than the sex assigned at birth. Sometimes shortened to trans, often to emphasize inclusiveness of a variety of identities that fall under the transgender umbrella. Some people put an asterisk on the end of trans* to reinforce that expanded definition.
Transgender/Trans is an adjective, and should NOT be used with an -ed or -s at the end as that is not only grammatically incorrect, but also suggests that trans is something that happens to someone or otherwise dehumanizes/oversimplifies a trans person into a caricature.
You wouldn’t say that someone is gayed, womaned, or Latinoed. Similarly you wouldn’t call someone "transgendered" or refer to multiple trans people as "transgenders."
Someone whose gender is the same as the sex assigned at birth. Contrary to some malignant gossip, cis is not an insult, but is actually Latin, and serves as a complement to the prefix "trans," helping to reinforce that all people have an innate sense of their gender (not just trans people).
The prefix "cis-" means "on this side of" as opposed to "trans-" which means "on the other side of." "cis-" and "trans-" help to understand and talk about gender identity, just like "hetero-" and "homo-" help to understand and talk about sexual orientation.
These terms are often used as an umbrella for all genders other than just female/woman/girl or male/man/boy. Much like "trans," non-binary in particular is used as an adjective (e.g. Jess is a binary trans woman and Aspen is non-binary). Just like there are those under the trans umbrella (like myself) whose journey takes them from expressing one binary gender to another, there are those whose identity is comprised of both or neither male or female identities. There are also those whose gender expression might not match up with their gender identity the same way at any given moment, and let that expression change to reflect what feels right in the moment.
It is increasingly common for people who have a nonbinary gender identity and/or gender expression to use they/them as their pronoun. The singular they/them pronoun does not have gendered connotations.
While there are some who believe "they/them" is and has always been plural, it has seen use in writing as far back as the year 1375 AD (and likely was in use much earlier, as written language generally follows spoken societal usage. Regardless of that past, today the singular they has been adopted in all leading style guides, including AP, APA, MLA, and Chicago, and now appears in many dictionaries as well.
The expression of one’s gender through clothing, hairstyle, voice, make up, body shape, pronouns, behavior, haircut, etc. Society typically identifies these cues as masculine and feminine, though that changes over time and varies by culture. Many - but not all! - transgender people seek to make their gender expression (how they look) match their gender (who they are).
A person's presentation is related to how others unconsciously perceive them. Many transgender people have a goal of refining their presentation (via altering their gender expression or pursuing medical remedies) so that that others will perceive them as the gender they wish to be read as (usually used in a binary cisgender context).
Often the term ‘passing’ was used to signify successfully presenting as desired, though that word is falling out of fashion as it is seen to imply that one should desire to look cisgender (as though there is a specific goal that should be pursued vs. simply feeling happy however one appears). More insidiously, the word 'passing' can imply that a trans person that others unconsciously perceive as one gender or another is performing a "trick" or falsehood.
A clinical term referring to dissonance between one’s assigned gender and/or one’s body, and one’s personal sense of self. Prior to the DSM-V, the term gender identity disorder was used, but that was removed as it often led to gender variance being stigmatised and misdiagnosed as a pathological condition.
Gender Dysphoria is now similarly being moved away from, in favor of Gender Incongruence. The necessity of a psychiatric diagnosis remains controversial, as both psychiatric and medical authorities recommend individualized medical treatment through hormones and/or surgeries to treat gender dysphoria. Some transgender advocates believe the inclusion of Gender Dysphoria in the DSM is necessary in order to advocate for health insurance that covers the medically necessary treatment recommended for transgender people.
Not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria, or if they do they may experience it in wildly different ways. Having dysphoria is not required for a person to "qualify" as transgender.
The system for assignment and classification of people as male or female based on imprecise perceptions of their physical anatomy. At birth, infants are assigned a sex, usually based on the appearance of their external anatomy. (This is what is written on the birth certificate.)
While it is understandable that a simplistic understanding of physical sex is taught in general education, the reality is far more complex than "XY = boy, XX = girl." A person's sex is actually a complex combination of bodily characteristics including: chromosomes, hormones, internal and external reproductive organs, and secondary sex characteristics. Sex is not fixed or immutable, and no single criterion (e.g. genitals, chromosomes, hormones, fertility) definitively describes one’s bodily shape or configuration.
For more insight, I highly recommend this excellent video by Forrest Valkai (who I happily support on Patreon).
Sex characteristics include external genitalia, gonads or reproductive organs and fertility, gamates, chromosomes, sex hormones. Secondary sex characteristics include breast development, patterns of hair growth such as facial hair and body hair, voice development, and may be said to include many other features of development based on sex characteristics. These can be natal or may change later, including through medical treatments.
Acronyms meaning assigned female at birth or assigned male at birth. When the ‘C’ is prefixed, it stands for ‘coercively’ (particularly relevant for intersex individuals). In cases when it’s necessary to refer to the birth-assigned sex of a trans person, this is the best way to do it.
Altering one's birth sex is not a one-step procedure; it is a complex process that occurs over a long period of time. Transition can include some or all of the following personal, medical, and legal steps: telling one's family, friends, and co-workers; using a different name and new pronouns; dressing differently; changing one's name and/or sex on legal documents; hormone therapy; and possibly (though not always) one or more types of surgery. The exact steps involved in transition vary from person to person, and there is no "right" way to transition. Avoid the phrase "sex change".
While extremely rare (limited studies have estimates around 1%), some people detranstition, which is entirely valid. It is more common earlier in transition, often before surgeries.
Some choose to detransition temporarily for specific reasons (to have biological children, or until a personal/financial barrier can be lifted). Some come to feel they genuinely were never transgender in the first place.
For the vast majority of those who choose to permanently detransition, however, harsh treatment and/or opposition from family, friends, work or society is cited as the primary motivating factor, with financial concerns also being a significant factor. Some transgender elders detransition as they fear they will not receive adequate or respectful care in later life.
While Hormone Replacement Therapy has a variety of uses like relieving symptoms of menopause, in the context of trans people HRT is a form of hormone therapy in which sex hormones and other hormonal medications are administered to transgender or gender nonconforming individuals for the purpose of more closely aligning their secondary sexual characteristics with their gender identity.
Treatment guidelines for therapy have been developed by several medical associations.
For adolescents experiencing gender dysphoria, an option exists to undergo puberty-suppressing hormone therapy at the onset of puberty, a fully reversible intervention that delays the permanent body changes that would otherwise happen if puberty were allowed to continue. The treatments in use have been avaible since the 1980s, and are well understood, with studies showing that treatments are rasonably safe, reversible and improve psychological well-being and decreasing suicidality in adulthood..
The Standards of Care set forth by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) recommend individuals pursuing puberty-suppressing hormone therapy wait until at least experiencing Tanner Stage 2 pubertal development.
Bottom surgery, Sexual Reconstruction Surgery (SRS), Genital Reconstruction Surgery (GRS), or Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) refer to several different types of gender affirmation or transition related surgical procedures which alter the patients genitalia.
These terms are preferred over “sex change operation” or anything with “reassignment.” Not all transgender people choose to or can afford to have GCS. Overemphasising the importance of GCS to the transition or affirmation process should be avoided.
Choosing to pursue any sort of surgical procedure is a personal choice, and is not necessary to "qualify" as transgender. Disclosing any information regarding surgical procedures is a up to each individual, and just like all information regarding another's person's genitalia, is none of your business unless that person chooses to share with you.
Top surgery is a general term to describe an operation that changes the look of a trans person's chest. This typically involves chest feminization or chest masculinzation, depending on the personal outcome desired for transfeminine, transmasculine, gender-noncomforming and non-binary individuals.
A person whose views on gender identity are considered hostile to transgender people, or who opposes social and political policies designed to be inclusive of transgender people. Originally coined as a more neutral shorthand to distinguish inclusive feminists from radicals and social conservatives who reject the reality of trans people (typically focused on rejecting trans women), it is now typically used in a derogatory fashion.
In an attempt to avoid the negative connotation, people labeled TERFs have attempted to describe their beliefs as "gender critical." These people oppose medical and scientific consensus on gender identity, believing that sex and gender is immutable, and that any person's identity is ultimately reduced to their genitalia or other biological characteristics.
For more insight on the scientific inaccuracy of this belief, I highly recommend this excellent video by Forrest Valkai (who I happily support on Patreon).
For more insight on TERFs (with a look at the whole "J.K. Rowling situation" and better understanding what gender critical bigotry actually means), I highly recommend this excellent video by ContraPoints (who I happily support on Patreon).
A person’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional and/or spiritual attraction to others. Gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same. Trans people can be heterosexual, gay, lesbian, pansexual, queer, etc. just like anyone else. For example, a trans woman who is primarily attracted to other women may identify as lesbian. A trans woman who is attracted solely to men would typically identify as a straight woman.
Sources for most of these definitions:
